HUS4462: Gender Issues in Treatment and Recovery

Transcript for Lesson 5 H. Hill 2020

Read the transcript below of a mock session between a counselor and client. Take the brief survey at the

end. Use this experience to respond to the discussion post prompt for Ch. 5.

Dr. Ming

How are you today, C.C.?

C.C.

I’m ok…

Dr. Ming

The last time we saw each other you were telling me that you were feeling depressed, and on a scale of 1

to 10, you replied you were at an 8. On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 feeling your best and 10 feeling your worst,

how would you rate your feelings of depression today?

C.C.

Seven

Dr. Ming

Ahh…a decrease. What would you attribute to the decrease?

C.C.

I don’t know…coming here, I guess.

Dr. Ming

It can be helpful to talk about your feelings with someone you trust and to have a specific time set aside to

do so. How have your eating and sleeping habits been? Any changes?

C.C.

No. They are still the same.

Dr. Ming.

Still feeling tired and fatigued, sleeping more than usual, and eating less…

C.C.

Yes.

Dr. Ming

When we spoke last week you described that you had an argument with your family. You were feeling

really upset about it, and angry that your children were asking you to get a job. Could you share with me

what the last week has been like for you and how the conversations are going now?

HUS4462: Gender Issues in Treatment and Recovery

Transcript for Lesson 5 H. Hill 2020

C.C.

There is still a lot of tension between us. They are so involved in my personal business and finances. I

just asked them for help, not to take them over. They cannot relate to what I am going through. I know

they mean well, but this is not how it is supposed to be.

Dr. Ming

Can you paint me a picture of what it is supposed to be like?

C.C.

I would be the person they turn to for guidance, financial help, etc. I would not be dependent on them. I

would still be valuable to the world in the same way I always have been. I would have my dignity intact

and full capacity of my faculties.

Dr. Ming

I think it’s a common feeling for parents to want to be providers and care-takers for their children even

after they are grown, but sometimes life has other plans for us. In many other cultures, parents are taken

care of and provided for by their children as they become settled in their adulthood.

C.C.

I just remember how much of a burden my parents were for me to take care of financially and otherwise

as a young adult, and I don’t want that for my children.

Dr. Ming

It sounds as though you are feeling guilty about needing their help.

C.C.

Yes.

Dr. Ming

Can you tell me more about that?

C.C.

It’s just not how it is done here. In America, I mean. I am not in my parents’ home country. We came

here for a different life, for different opportunities.

Dr. Ming

And yet, culturally, you felt it appropriate to take care of your parents.

HUS4462: Gender Issues in Treatment and Recovery

Transcript for Lesson 5 H. Hill 2020

C.C.

But that was different. They needed me more than I should need my children. My parents did not have

the same opportunities that I had. They came here to give me those opportunities. Here, in America, you

are more self-sufficient. You make money to save for a retirement. You plan ahead.

Dr. Ming

You can plan ahead and you can save money, but you cannot plan for what life will bring you. You

suffered a stroke. The money you invested was lost. Your needs changed. Those are things that “were

not supposed to happen,” but did. How do you think you can reconcile that?

C.C.

I suppose I can’t, and that is why I am down. I feel ashamed I lost my money, that I cannot take care of

myself alone, or be of help to my family.

Dr. Ming

I hear that you feel guilty, ashamed, and like you have lost your value and independence.

C.C.

Yes.

Dr. Ming

I wonder if I might share a reflection with you.

C.C.

Yes.

Dr. Ming

It takes courage to ask for help. By getting therapy, you are practicing self-care and nurturing your needs.

And you are building resilience by adapting to the changes in your life that you were not prepared for.

Modeling these things for your children, even as they are grown adults, helps them to continue to grow

and learn resiliency from you.

C.C.

I don’t feel courageous or resilient.

Dr. Ming

That is understandable. Feeling afraid of the unknown and uncomfortable with uncertainty is why it is so

brave. Following through with receiving help, even if you are reluctant at times, is still wise and resilient.

End of scene.

HUS4462: Gender Issues in Treatment and Recovery

Transcript for Lesson 5 H. Hill 2020

Brief Survey:

1. After reading the transcript of the session, what did you perceive to be the genders of the two parties

in the scenario?

A. Dr. Ming: B. C.C.:

2. What do you think led more to your perception of their genders?

A. Your cultural perspective B. Your gendered preferences

C. The use of language in the scene D. All of the above

3. What words used in the scenario seem feminine to you? Please underline them. Masculine? Please

circle. If there are terms that are neutral, leave them unmarked.

Providers Care-takers Dependent

Valuable Dignity Capacity

Burden Guilty Self-Sufficient

Reconcile Ashamed Alone

Independence Share Reflection

Courage Therapy Self-care

Nurture Building Resilience

Adapting Prepared Modeling

Grow Learn Feeling

Afraid Uncomfortable Brave

Reluctant Wise

HUS4462: Gender Issues in Treatment and Recovery

Transcript for Lesson 5 H. Hill 2020

4. Choose the Bio you think best fits C.C. in this scenario:

Bio #1: C.C. is a retired Cuban-American physician, who after her divorce when she was 30 was able to

find love again with Anita. She and Anita lived together and cared for C.C.’s three children and raised

them without the assistance of C.C.’s ex-husband. During this time, being an out lesbian couple, lesbian

parents, and/or a lesbian physician was not favorable so C.C. and her partner Anita did not describe the

nature of their relationship to the children until they were young adults. C.C.’s partner Anita,

unfortunately died after a terrible car accident after twenty-two years of partnership, leaving C.C.

unofficially widowed because marriage equality had not yet been achieved. C.C. and Anita also chose to

invest in unconventional retirement plans because they were afraid of the laws limiting the other partner

access to their invested funds in the event of one of their untimely deaths, but unfortunately, lost most of

their savings in the stock market crash of 2008. C.C., determined not to let it get her down, continued to

work in her private practice as a General Practitioner until she had her stroke at the age of 60. The stroke

left her with some moderate disability, affecting her ability to practice as a physician and forcing her to

retire early. Too young in her mind to retire, and being independent, she is struggling to adjust to her new

way of life.

Bio #2: C.C. is a man of former means, who immigrated to this country with his parents from India as a

child. C.C.’s parents were considered to be of the working class in India, or Shudras of the caste system.

C.C.’s parents believed if they came to America they could offer their son a better life and better

opportunities. In America, C.C.’s parents continued to be working class, but C.C. was less affected by

their status than would be in India. He was able to attend a decent school and go to college. He double

majored in business and engineering and became an entrepreneur. His education and occupation made his

parents proud.

C.C. did quite well for himself and was part of a flourishing dotcom business in the 1990’s that had as

much of a rising success as it did a steep decline in success. But before its downfall, C.C. started a family

and was living the “American dream.” Putting all of his eggs in the business, C.C. lost most of his wealth

after being forced to file for bankruptcy in 2002. C.C. was able to keep some of his assets and be

financially stable for a while, but he spent most of his remaining money on supporting his aging parents

until their passing and his children’s college educations. He was never able to fully recover. With his

illusion of success shattered, he was prone to depression, diabetes, and too proud to ask for help. He

wound up divorced, living alone, and struggling to find meaningful work. After suffering a stroke and

losing much of his independence in the recovery afterward, C.C. had to move in with his eldest son and

daughter-in-law. His other two children also live nearby and are active in his life. He now feels like he

must depend on his children for financial and emotional support and is ashamed of the embarrassment he

has brought to them.

Bio #3: C.C. is a Taiwanese non-binary person who goes by gender neutral pronouns they/them/their/zir.

C.C. was once married and cared for the children, C.C.’s aging parents, and was a tenured professor of

sociology at a small private university. C.C. enjoyed the stability and financial security from the college

until the stroke. Due to complications from the stroke, C.C. must now face an early retirement but has

limited funds. C.C. withdrew zir’s retirement savings from the college early to offset the long-term care

needs of C.C.’s parents. Other savings C.C. had were lost also in trading ventures to make-up for the

spent retirement. Now C.C. finds the transition of being cared for by zir’s own children to be difficult.

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