28 Aug Please make at least 10 substantial comments on your peer’s drafts. MAKE sure to highlight the places that you want to make a comment on the file?RoughDraft.docPeerReviewWorks
Please make at least 10 substantial comments on your peer's drafts. MAKE sure to highlight the places that you want to make a comment on the file
Banuelos 1
Clarissa Banuelos
Christopher Moreland
MMW 13, Section #A01
Assignment 3: Rough Draft
8/22/23
Perfect Harmony Reached Through Trade In Europe
When trade was first discovered in Europe unsure feelings arose throughout the area as it was a new idea that no one was familiar with. Eventually, it became one of the largest, most influential trading regions which prompted for a stronger economy and an influx of wealth and new resources. While conducting research, I found that some scholars say Europe commercialized towards other regions such as Asia and Russia in order to be on amicable terms which would provide safety and peace. While this is certain, I have noticed on the other hand that Europe actually preferred to trade within their own region because they were allowed to develop their own specific set of regulations according to their likings. A noticeable issue that recurred as they traded were regional differences that would set them apart from one another such as religion and culture. This quickly became the reason Europe would stray away from making trades with neighboring countries during the medieval period transitioning to the Middle Ages and later established tranquility by trading within their own system, unifying them as a country. Although it seems smarter to make allies and trade overseas, regional disagreements and differences played a large toll on feelings for both parties involved in the trade.
In the primary source “Factors of Trade in Europe,” the authors discuss the trade routes that existed and which ones were the most beneficial and successful. Along with explanations, there is geographical data that indicates why trading with far regions was better as the population was larger and allowed for more opportunities. As mentioned in the text, “Declining tariffs worldwide have made the international goods exchange cheaper and easier over time” (Hanousek, Jan, and Evžen Kočenda 520). The leading decision that allowed for overseas trading to rapidly increase by popular demand was denying taxes to be placed on trading. This essentially allowed for countries to trade without the worry of prices going up on goods and services purchased from another country. There were no restrictions in the way, therefore countries enjoyed trading amongst one another as it allowed everyone to get a variety of goods that were not offered or available in all regions. Areas that had a surplus amount of certain luxuries were able to trade for equally valuable items or items that were limited in their region, but plentiful in another. The text goes on to mention how Europe was able to fulfill all of their needs by trading solely with neighboring countries, rather than trading with further distanced areas. The text states, “Europe is likely to inhibit trade to a much lesser extent than in other parts of the world since European countries are relatively close to each other and destination substitutes are plentiful” (Hanousek, Jan, and Evžen Kočenda 525). Being that Europe is the second smallest continent, all of the European countries are in close proximity to each other which is why they favored trading close by. Europe is the largest exporter of manufactured goods and services with 50 countries that provide the best and affordable items. While Europe was able to satisfy their needs, they still had other countries that relied on them for the exportation of goods which is why they were able to remain on good terms with other countries. The data that is provided in the text indicates how trading was expected to go and how it really went in regards to trading nearby or far away. For instance, “The gravity equation for bilateral trade flows established itself as one of the most successful empirical approaches in international economics” (Hanousek, Jan, and Evžen Kočenda 521). This was measured by GDP which could help predict the trade flow based on the economic size and distance between two areas. The data suggests the larger a region was, the more successful they would be in trading their goods versus the larger the distance of the region, the less probability and attractiveness they had in trading. This goes to show why Europe had a perfect set up as everything was in close proximity and why they had no need to search for goods elsewhere. Due to all of these factors, Europe was able to gain a sense of peace as they were freed from any environmental factors that would make them rely on others. Not only did this allow for tranquility, however it also unified all European countries and made their government stronger which is why it is what it is today.
In the secondary source “Corporations and Business Associations from the Commercial Revolution to the Age of Discovery,'' the text depicts what necessary measures were to be taken as trade reached extraordinary levels. The text goes into great detail about the “age of discovery” and elaborates on the principles of human associationism, and how this led to the expansion of Europe. In other words, “Within this Hanseatic ‘empire of trade’, merchant collaboration reached unprecedented levels” (Cavanagh 498). Merchants gathered together and established principles within their trades which allowed for equal and fair exchanges to be made. This way all parties were content, and motivated the people to continue trading and developing new advancements. Merchants became one of the most powerful jobs to have as they basically ruled the world and kept the economy going. Along with goods being traded, merchants allowed for new knowledge, ideas, cultures, and beliefs to be spread from one region to another. As these new customs spread, people were able to develop a better understanding of how the world was being run which allowed for new monopolies to be put into place. At this point of time, overseas trading became very influential and revolutional as this became the prime time for trading expensive, luxurious items. This led to a more unified region, “Trade and heightened collaboration, together, connected the major European hubs of capital and industry and fostered the movement of consumable goods through ports” (Cavanagh 498). Around this time is when Europe became the center of trade due to their excessive amount of goods and little to none reliance on other countries. Europe became the main source of products, which made other countries submissive and wanting to be on cordial terms with them. The better the countries treated Europe the more leniency they had with trading, ultimately making Europe in control of the trading market. For this reason they were able to maintain tranquility as no one wanted to start problems with them and be cut off from receiving the goods they depended on. As a result of their independence, they were able to strengthen their government and were able to take control and develop their own contracts. According to the text, “Trade agreements established specific privileges and protocols for foreign traders and their conduct, depending on the nature of diplomatic relationships” (Cavanagh 502). Once they were in the position that they were in, they had the ability to institute deals with foreign countries who wished to buy their goods. Europe was not greedy and tried their best to impose restrictions that would not limit countries from receiving necessary products, which is probably why they were able to be successful for such a long period of time. As time continued, Europe drove business and became more powerful as they learned the variety of customers and were able to predict trends of what was to be needed. Knowing that they had the ball in their hands, Europe took advantage of their power and made influential decisions that would continue to greatly impact their government til this day.
In the secondary source “Eastern Trade and the Mediterranean in the Middle Ages,” the text talks about Europe’s central points in trading between Western and Eastern countries within their region. As the text dives deeper into these points, it goes to show statistics for geographical, cultural, institutional, and infrastructural factors that would show why distance was a large issue. Once trade was introduced, it rapidly spread throughout the world and either strengthened an empire or quickly destroyed empires that could not hold their part in the trade industry. For example, “Trade attained its greatest intensity within the whole second half of the Middle Ages; it was truly the Golden Age of the European economy” (Sinclair 7). Thankfully, Europe was able to come out more successful than they ever were before as trade became a more universal, everyday activity. Depending on which country or region, complete chaos would come for governments that were unable to provide a positive outcome to trade which weakened their system. As their system weakened, peace turned into panic as people scrambled trying to better themselves and find a way out of the disorder. Unfortunately, many regions ran into these issues and were unable to recover from such dramatic disruption in their central governing system. Europe was thriving in the trade market until they ran into some disagreements within their own region. As stated in the text, “Noting the large disparities between the two, we examine the evidence for the abundant accumulation of western silver in cities along the way…we also examine the measures taken by authorities to maintain security along the way and thus to facilitate trade” (Sinclair 16). Not only were the trade items accounted for, however every step that happened along the way from the start to the finish was recorded. As more issues and disagreements emerged, Europe searched for a relief in how these problems could be fixed. Unlike other times, Europe found that they ran into more issues trading from Western to Eastern countries compared to foreign countries. This was most likely due to the fact that they placed restrictions on outside countries, therefore no boundaries were pushed. Europe wanted to be unified, so no boundaries were set within its own borders which is why many issues occurred. However, they were able to fix these complications by watching every trade from beginning to end very closely.
All in all, Europe was evidently in control of trade as they had the largest impact on what could be traded. The main reason they were able to strengthen their government was because they knew what exact course of action needed to be taken. As they introduced protocols, they were able to maintain peace and tranquility as neighboring regions relied on their goods. The outcome of their harmony allowed for a strong government and unified the people in regards to culture, religion, and so much more.
Works Cited
Cavanagh, Edward. “Corporations and Business Associations from the Commercial Revolution to the Age of Discovery: Trade, Jurisdiction and the State, 1200-1600.” History Compass, Cavanagh, E. (2016) Corporations and Business Associations from the Commercial Revolution to the Age of Discovery: Trade, Jurisdiction and the State, 1200-1600. History Compass, 14: 493-510. doi: 10.1111/hic3.12341., vol. 14, no. 10, 2016, pp. 493–510, https://doi.org/10.1111/hic3.12341 .
Hanousek, Jan, and Evžen Kočenda. “Factors of Trade in Europe.” Economic Systems, vol. 38, no. 4, 2014, pp. 518–35, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ecosys.2014.06.001 .
Sinclair, Thomas. Eastern Trade and the Mediterranean in the Middle Ages: Pegolotti’s Ayas-Tabriz Itinerary and Its Commercial Context. Routledge, 2019, https://doi.org/10.4324/9780429348112 .
Dear Reader Letter
I believe the strengths in my paper is that I am able to get across the point that Europe was crucial for trade. I also believe I am able to deliberately introduce new ideas smoothly so there are no choppy sentences that jump from one topic to the next. The problems I constantly run into while writing my draft is that I tend to sound like I am repeating ideas, even when I am trying to connect it to new information. Are there any certain tricks you might have that can help me not sound repetitive? Another problem I encountered that I can not seem to figure out is how do I make my counterargument sound like one. It tends to sound like I am using my rebuttal to back up my main point when in reality they are two completely different things. My thesis is about why Europe decided it was best to trade only within their region. My counter argument is that they actually ran into a lot of problems trading within their own region as they ran into some cultural differences. How could I make this sound like two opposing arguments? If I had 2 more days to write this, I would focus my attention on specific details of why Europe ran into problems within their own region, even though they share similar beliefs. I also want to know how you introduce your quote because I do not know whether or not it is better to introduce each one with a sentence. Lastly, I need help with trying to write a conclusion because when writing mine it is very similar to my introduction. Thank you for the help!
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Peer Review Feedback Instructions For the Peer Review Workshop, you will need to make at least 8 substantial comments on each of your group members’ essays. Here are some guidelines to keep in mind when commenting:
• Peer review allows us to see if our thoughts are going in the right track. If other people understand our
thoughts, then we are conveying them in an effective manner.
o Even if something makes sense to the writer, it might not make sense to the reader. The main
goal of peer review is to have someone else look over your essay and give their perspective
• Focus on logic and arguments. Look for the “issue” at hand. In other words, we are more interested in
big ideas.
• Look for the author’s position (i.e. argument).
• Be focused and specific when making comments.
o Don’t just say “I liked this part” or “I didn’t like this”
• Evaluate their reasons and evidence for their claims.
• Assess whether the topic sentences, sentence structure, and organization are sound.
• Note that we are less interested in spelling/grammar mistakes (unless they impact readability)
• Be constructive (polite, not overly critical or mean, but call out issues when you see them)
• When giving feedback, think about what kind of feedback you would want on your essay.
Instructions: Use the following questions as guidelines when making comments and providing feedback on rough drafts. You don’t need to answer all of these questions, but addressing several of them in your comments will be helpful to your peers. Thesis and Introduction Is the thesis clearly identifiable? Highlight it on your peer’s paper.
What do you think the author is arguing? In a comment, restate the thesis in your own words. Is the thesis an answer to a Level 3 Question? Why or why not? Does the author include all the elements of an introduction? (Subject/topic sentence; conceptual problem; thesis; 3 supporting reasons.) Are there any changes you would recommend? Body Paragraphs Do they include topic sentences? Comment on one of them. Do the paragraphs correspond with one of the supporting reasons? Does the writer incorporate textual evidence using quotes or paraphrasing? Does the author analyze textual evidence and relate it to their central argument? How well does the author support their argument? Conclusion + Counterargument and Rebuttal Does the conclusion restate the main argument? Does the conclusion (or intro or body paragraph) have a counterargument? That is, does the author mention other scholars’ arguments and put their analysis in conversation with these arguments? Do these other arguments specifically relate to the author’s thesis? Highlight and comment on the counterargument. Does the conclusion (or intro or body paragraph) have a rebuttal? In other words, does the author explain why their argument is more valid than the counterargument? Does the author provide evidence? Highlight and comment on the rebuttal. Does it discuss the historical significance of the argument? In a comment, state what you think the historical significance is. Avoiding Plagiarism Highlight and comment on any summaries or paraphrases that are missing citations, or have incorrect citations. Overall What are the major strengths of the paper? Does the paper fulfill all the requirements listed in the Grading Rubric for the Rough Draft? Does the paper have a clear organization and flow? What do they need to work on? Were there any major weaknesses? How would you address these weaknesses? What grade would you give their paper?
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