Female-Male Nonverbal Communication

Chapter 11

Sex versus Gender Sex • Biological and genetic difference between

male and female

• Born as one or other

• Anatomically expressed in the distinct sexual organs of men and women

Sex versus Gender Continued… Gender • Psychological, social, and cultural

manifestations of what people perceive to be appropriate behaviors of females and males

• May not be representative of person’s biological sex

Development of Nonverbal Behavior Causal factors believed to be due to:

• Genetics

• Modeling of older men and women

• Conditioning or reinforcement of behaviors in a culture

Genetics • Biological research shows males and females

inherit different bone structures and body types

• Inherited traits usually cannot be significantly altered

• Determines our walk, gestures, and posture

• Can influence many nonverbal behaviors

Modeling • We learn many behaviors by observing and

imitating the behavior of others

• Suggests that children observe nonverbal behaviors and attempt to emulate them

• Explains (in part) why females and males differ in nonverbal behaviors within a single culture

• Research has not confirmed whether modeling is the primary reason for development of female and male nonverbal behavior

Reinforcement or Conditioning

• Suggests behavior that is reinforced or conditioned will increase and behavior not reinforced will decrease

• Culture reinforces or punishes appropriate or inappropriate behavior

• Plays a large role in the development of nonverbal behavior, but is not the definitive explanation

The Dilemma

Distinguishing female from male nonverbal behavior is difficult • Need to look at the characteristics that

determine why each sex employs behaviors

Role expectations are primarily a function of culture • U.S. culture characterized by

• Reactivity for women • Proactivity for men

Cultural Expectations Reactivity (women)

 Sensitive, responsive, emotionally expressive, and supportive

 Submissive social style  More pleasant, less dominating

Proactivity (men)  Assertive, independent,  self-assured, confident,

and decisive  Dominant social style

Appearance and Attractiveness Attractive people • Sociable • Outgoing • Likeable • Intelligent • Happier

Less attractive people • Less sociable • Less extroverted • Less likeable • Less intelligent • Not happy

Appearance and Attractiveness Continued…

Research suggests attractive people are rated as more credible than unattractive people

Females considered to meet higher standards (than males) to be perceived as credible • Unattractive females are less accepted than

males • Women are judged more harshly by society

Appearance and Attractiveness Continued…..

Overly attractive women may suffer more than unattractive women • Perceived as a sex object rather than a

credible human being • Constant nonverbal

dilemma of what to wear, how to look, and what the appearance communicates to others

Gesture and Movement

From early ages, children exhibit body movements and gestures of their biological sex

 Little girls have more pronounced body movements when paired with little girls than when paired with boys

 When little girls are paired with boys, they tend to act more shy and more reserved in body movements

As adults, males tend to use more dominant gestures and movements when communicating with females • Females tend to use more compliant gestures

Females Communicating With Males

• Take up less space • Shrink (pull in body) • Tilt head when talking or listening • Arrange or play with hair • Put hands in lap or on hips • Tap hands • Cross legs, ankles • Blink more

Males Communicating With Females

• Stare more • Point • Take up more space • Keep head straight • Stretch hands • Stand with legs apart or spread out with ankles

apart • Stroke chin more • Use larger and more sweeping gestures • Hold arms away from body more

Facial Behavior In U.S. culture, it is more acceptable for females to be facially expressive and less so for males • Not appropriate for men

to show emotion in public like it is for women

Smiles: • Males: primarily when

happy or amused • Women: when happy

or also while sending a negative message • Conditioned to look pleasant and sensitive, not harsh or

demanding

Eye Behavior In U.S. culture, it’s considered frustrating when communicating with someone who does not make eye contact Females vs. Males • Women have more eye contact with person in

conversation (especially woman-to-woman) than men

• Women look longer at conversational partner than men

• Interpersonal relationship: women gaze, men stare • Women lower eyes when conversing with staring

male

Vocal Behavior • To some extent, voice is an accurate projection of

personality

• U.S. culture does not respond well to women with deep voices or men with high-pitched voices

• Society does not respond well to someone with incorrect grammar, informal speech, or a regional accent – Less critical of males than females

Voice Qualities Voice Qualities Female Male

Nasality Undesirable Undesirable

High-Pitched Dynamic, extroverted Dynamic, feminine

Orotund Humorless Energetic, proud, interesting

Throaty Ugly, boorish Older, well-adjusted

Thin Immature, good sense of humor

No correlation

Breathy Shallow Younger, artistic

Vocal Behavior Differences Males • Use greater intensity • Talk louder

Females • Raise pitch • Speak in quieter tones

when talking with men

Space Research on sex differences concerning space reveal distinctions

In public, personal space bubbles surrounding women appear to be smaller than those around men • Female pairs stand closer together than male pairs • Male-female pairs stand closest of all

Space Continued… Women (seemingly) require less space than men

• Not upset if less space is awarded to them because they are used to having less or invaded space

Research suggests that, in typical male-female interactions, men command the bulk of available space

• Suggests male exerting dominant position

Perception that women feel they should not fight over space

• Easier to give in than to fight or flee

As research continues, may be a societal or work role, not a sex role, that determines use of space

Touch • Women seem to be more

concerned about the type of touch they give/receive

• Male-female relationships:  It is often men who initiate touch  Women taught that initiation of touch is

misleading (promiscuous)

• Touch in U.S. society is reserved for intimate relationships and is seen as sexual in nature

Nonverbal Behaviors Performed by Female Performed by Male

Lowers eyes Stares

Smiles Frowns

Tilts head Holds head erect

Does not point Points

More positive gesturing Less positive gesturing

Takes up less space Takes up more space

Moves out of the way of his space Moves in on her space /yields space

Accepts touch Initiates touch

Pulls body in Has erect posture

Stands/sits with legs together Stands/sits with legs apart Bats eyelashes Initiates looks

Hands at sides or in the lap Hands on hips

Cuddles Strokes

Talks more softly Talks more loudly

Liking and Courtship of American Female and Male

Quasi-courtship cues • Nonverbal cues used

to show interest in courtship

4 categories • Courtship-readiness

cues • Preening behavior • Positional cues • Actions of appeal or

invitation

Categories of Quasi-Courtship Cues

• Courtship-readiness: Reduced eye bagginess, high muscle tone, little slouching, decreased belly sag

• Preening behavior: Stroking one’s hair, fixing make- up and clothes, looking in mirror, leaving buttons on shirts open, adjusting tie, socks, and suit coats

• Positional: How a person positions self while seated indicates openness to a conversation

• Actions of appeal or invitation: Rolling pelvis, casting flirtatious glances, holding another’s gaze, crossing leg to expose thigh, showing wrist or palm, flexing muscles

12 Steps of Western Courtships Research suggests steps couples in Western culture go through, from initial contact through intimacy

• Follow an order in female-male relationships • People who skip steps or fail to respond to steps

may be seen as fast/slow by other person

12-Steps:

1. Eye to body 2. Eye to eye 3. Voice to voice 4. Hand to hand 5. Arm to shoulder 6. Arm to wrist

7. Mouth to mouth 8. Hand to head 9. Hand to body 10. Mouth to breast 11. Hand to genitals 12. Genitals to genitals

Avoiding Problems

• Problems with verbal and nonverbal communication behaviors exist and are not likely to be avoided completely

• Awareness of verbal and nonverbal behaviors can be subject to multiple interpretations and may decrease problems

Tips to Avoid Problems • Meaning is in people’s minds, not in words or in

nonverbal behaviors

• When a person’s words are offensive, we can: • Tell the person to avoid the problem in the future • Ignore the offense • Avoid that person so we don’t have future interactions

• If we choose to confront, serious conflict could occur, meaning the relationship could be damaged

• Prevention better than cure; appropriate instruction in nonverbal behavior and communication is the best preventative system found to date

Nonverbal Sensitivity • Females more sensitive to nonverbal cues than

males

• Women more accurate in judging various emotional states than men

• Women more responsive nonverbally than men

• Females are more nonverbally sensitive than males, but reasons for difference are not clear

• Women show emotions more than men in Western society

Immediacy Advantages/Disadvantages

Advantages Disadvantages

More pleasant, friendly, likeable Leads to misinterpretation, misjudged cues suggesting intimate

relationship/wanting to spend more time with person

Receive more communication May lead to negative perceptions (male perception of being girlish; female perception as easy or too

friendly)

Others want to spend more time with immediate people

The Androgynous Person One who can associate with both masculine and feminine characteristics • Andro = man • Gyne = woman

Highly flexible in his/her behavior • More likely to be able to respond across

contexts

The Androgynous Person Continued…

• Does not feel limited in her/his verbal and nonverbal communication

• Aware of and adaptable to the affiliative and control needs of others

• More likely to be more nonverbally sensitive than the stereotypical male/female

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