Seinfeld: The Apartment

JERRY: Boys, boys. HAROLD: Oh, Jerry. JERRY: I slid the rent under your door, Harold. Did you get it? HAROLD: Yeah, yeah. Hey, Jerry, would you like anything from Mrs. Hudwalker's apartment? [Man speaking in Spanish] HAROLD: I was only joking. He thinks I'm going to give you Mrs. Hudwalker's things. [Manny starts talking in Spanish] HAROLD: We have to go up there now and clean the apartment. It's a good thing her rent was overdue. She'd be rotting up there for a month. JERRY: She died? Mrs. Hudwalker died? HAROLD: Ninety-four years old. I found her yesterday. She didn't have a wig on. It was horrifying. [Manny speaking in Spanish] HAROLD: What's the matter with you? I'm talking. So, Jerry, you know anybody who needs an apartment? JERRY: Are you kidding? You know my friend Elaine? HAROLD: Oh yeah, I like her. She always says "hello" to me. JERRY: It's not promised to anybody? 'Cause she would take it in a second. HAROLD: Well, Manny wanted it for his brother, but he got deported. [Manny starts protesting in Spanish] HAROLD: What's the difference? It's true. JERRY: So, it's okay? I could just tell her she can have it? HAROLD: Sure, sure. She's getting a bargain, too. It's only four hundred dollars a month. [Manny yells in Spanish] HAROLD: Okay… [Manny keeps talking in Spanish] HAROLD: Okay. KRAMER: Hey, Harold, what do you think? HAROLD: Manny, look, Kramer put mousse in his hair. [Manny speaking in Spanish]

KRAMER: Thanks. ELAINE: What was that all about? JERRY: Oh, nothing important. ELAINE: What's going on? What is that look? JERRY: What look? Nothing. ELAINE: Something's going on here. JERRY: I don't know if you should sit for this or not. Sitting is good if you faint, but standing is good for jumping up and down. I can't decide. ELAINE: Jumping up and down? What are you talking about? C'mon. Cough it up. JERRY: Oh, Elaine. You know the way I am – rarely ever thinking of myself. My only concern is the welfare and happiness of those close to me. Sure, it hurts sometimes – to give, and give, and give… ELAINE: Would you please? JERRY: What would you say if I told you that… ELAINE: Told me what?! JERRY: I got you an apartment in this building. ELAINE: No. JERRY: Yes. ELAINE: No. JERRY: Yes. ELAINE: You didn't. JERRY: I did. ELAINE: You got me an apartment in the building? JERRY: I got you an apartment in the building. ELAINE: How did you… JERRY: Remember Mrs. Hudwalker? The ninety-four-year-old woman who lived above me? ELAINE: No. JERRY: She died. ELAINE: She died? JERRY: She died.

ELAINE: She died! JERRY: And the rent is only four hundred dollars a month! ELAINE: Get out! Four hundred a month? Only four hundred a month? JERRY: Four hundred a month. ELAINE: And I'll be right upstairs? JERRY: Right upstairs. ELAINE: Right above you? JERRY: Right above me. ELAINE: Oh, we're neighbors. I'll be here all the time! JERRY: All the time… ELAINE: We can exchange keys so we can come in and out. Oh, this is going to be great! JERRY: All the time… HAROLD: Hello, Jerry. HAROLD: Okay. Your friend can't have the apartment, Jerry. JERRY: What? HAROLD: Because somebody offered Manny five thousand dollars for the apartment. I don't want to do it. Manny wants to do it. [Manny yells in Spanish] HAROLD: Because it's true! Why shouldn't I tell him? JERRY: Hey, hey. I understand. You're businessmen. [Manny talks in Spanish] HAROLD: Oh, now, he says that if your friend has five thousand dollars, we'll give it to her. JERRY: Well, that's a lot of money. But, if that's the way it's gotta be, that's the way it's gotta be.

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