05 Nov How many “friends” do you have on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, etc. Is the number important to you? Why?
Before beginning this discussion forum, reread information in your textbook about Rawlins’ Five Characteristics of Friendships and Rawlin’s friendship dialectics.
In this discussion forum, you will watch an interview with Simon Sinek, an author and leadership expert, and Eric Michielsen about friendships. In this short interview, you will hear Mr. Sinek explain the difference between friends and acquaintances that echoes information given in Chapter 10 of your textbook. After watching this video, tell us his message in your own words to begin your posting for the discussion.
Examples Below
One of the most important points is one Mr. Sinek made early on during his interview stating that, “You would not share confidential information with these people online.” This is observation is significant because it serves an important buffer between those we share carefully curated moments with versus who we are more candid with in person. The second quote I liked ties in well with the first. Sinek says, “We don’t use the word ‘acquaintance’ anymore, everyone is a friend.” The new era of tech has produced a modern phenomenon of parasocial relationships. This leads to a lot of ingenuine remarks regarding connections with people that are not based in reality.
When I am with my friends, I personally find it quite difficult not to glance at my phone. I am hypervigilant about missing an important message. If the conversation is of a deeper nature, I will intentionally put my phone away where I cannot view the screen. My friends and I do new things quite often though options run out in a small town. I also benefit from having friends that have different activities from me.This means that often we have something new to discuss where I also learn new things from them.
With many of my close friends I am aware of my attitude, attention, and purpose. On part 10.1 of our textbook, it states that, “We have other friends who get to see the real us as we protect less and less of ourselves in those friendships.” When receiving information from a friend I value it is important to me to respect them. I want to respect them because for them that is a natural outworking of loving and valuing someone. With my friends I have few that I frequently disagree with. Whenever a situation like that arises, I find myself able to listen and respond thoughtfully. In the past I have been friends with individuals that caused that ‘gut-feeling’ that they were a negative influence in my life. After navigating that feeling I have been able to set boundaries. In some cases, friendships that offer more negativity than anything else are not ones that last long. Overall I choose to have fewer but quality friends.
Resources
Sinek, Simon. “Simon Sinek on Why to Differentiate Friends From Acquaintances.” YouTube, Capture Your Flag, 6 Apr. 2011,
Examples:
After watching Simon Sinek’s interview, I agree with his message that there is a difference between having acquaintances and having actual friends. One point that stood out to me was that just because you know someone or follow them on social media doesn’t mean they’re your friend. Another important point that stood out to me was that real friends are people you can trust, depend on, and be yourself around without feeling judged. Additionally, he also explained that having a small number of genuine friends is more meaningful than having hundreds of people you barely know, in which I completely agree with.
Personally, I have quite a few people added on social media, but I wouldn’t consider all of them my friends. The number isn’t really important to me either, because having a lot of followers doesn’t mean those people genuinely care about you. Social media makes it easy to connect with others, but it doesn’t always create meaningful relationships.
In Section 10.1, Rawlins identifies five characteristics of friendship: voluntary, personal, equality, involvement, and affect. I think involvement and equality are especially important because both people should put effort into maintaining a friendship.
Adding on to, The Mindfulness Activity on page 10.1.5 encourages us to “be present, try something new, and practice compassion and kindness.” I try to give my friends my attention whether we’re together or apart, although sometimes my phone or personal thoughts can distract me. My friends and I also tend to do similar activities, but I think trying new things could help strengthen our friendships.
Further, I also believe that friends should be able to disagree without damaging their relationship. This connects to Rawlins’ judgment and acceptance dialectic because friends can have different opinions while still respecting one another. I don’t believe a real friend should pressure me into doing something I’m uncomfortable with. Overall, I think genuine friendship is about trust, respect, understanding, and being there for each other rather than popularity or social media numbers.
A person wearing glasses and a sweater Description automatically generated
Play Video
Directions:
1. Clearly state two or three observations or messages that are communicated by Mr. Sinek about the differences between acquaintances and friends that you believe are significant and important for everyone to know and understand. In your own words, explain the importance of these differences in today’s communication climate of social media.
2. Conclude your posting by revisiting Section 10.1 in your textbook, and specifically the Mindfulness Activity on page 10.1.5.
3. Answer the following questions in your post by comparing YOUR responses to the information given in Section 10.1 of your textbook. Be sure to cite the page number reference and use quotes as appropriate to support your observations.
· When you are with your friends, are you truly present, or do you let distractions such as your cell phone or personal concerns get in in your way of truly being present in the moment for and with your friend?
· How often do and your friends do new things, or are you stuck in a rut doing the same things all the time or talk about the same things all the time?
· When you are with your friends, are you clearly aware of your attitude, your purpose, and your attention? Can you disagree with your friend and have meaningful discussions to learn from each other? Does your friend persuade or influence you to behave in a manner that you feel in your “gut” is not the best way to be such as things you say or do?
I look forward to seeing what you discuss among yourselves!
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